How to Create a Great Kid’s BJJ Program

Welcome to part three on how to create a great kid’s BJJ program. As I mentioned in part one and two, a good kid’s program is one of the most essential parts of a successful jiu-jitsu academy.

If done right, the kid’s program can become the most stable and largest source of revenue, covering the academy’s major expenses, allowing for coaches’ salaries, and becoming the primary source of natural marketing (kids and parents love to tell their friends about this cool martial art they’re learning).

In this series so far, I’ve provided insight into how to craft a good kid’s program, and what it takes to be a good – and eventually great – kid’s BJJ instructor. In part one, I talked about the structure of a good kid’s BJJ program: the importance of a consistent format, a well-planned curriculum, a reasonable coach-to-student ratio and the role of games. In part two, I focused on best practices concerning the instruction of kid’s classes. In this third part, I’ll be covering some of the biggest challenges related to kid’s classes, and tips on how to deal with them. 

Part 3: Kid’s BJJ Class Troubleshooting

There are innumerable issues that arise during a kid’s class. There could never be an all-inclusive, comprehensive guide to troubleshooting a kid’s program. Because every group of students is going to be entirely unique, you will encounter problems that entirely unique to your kids class. 

However, there are a few patterns. Here are the most common issues that arise, and suggestions as to how to handle them: 

Girl/Boy Pairs

Depending on the age group of your kid’s or youth class… you may encounter some issues regarding pairing up girls and boys. Pre-puberty, this tends to be less of an issue (not non-existent, as I’ll explain, but less). As soon as your students reach an age at which the hormones start kicking in, you’ll start to get some awkwardness and hesitancy when it comes to mixed-gender pairs.

This can be very tricky. On the one hand, you want your boys to be able to lose gracefully to a more technical opponent – regardless of whether it happens to be a girl – and for your girls to be empowered to exercise their technique without hesitation – regardless of whether they face a boy. You also have to recognize that, as this is a martial art, there might be an intense pressure on your boys “not to lose to a girl”, which may be coming from their parents, their peers, or both (this pressure appears even among the pre-pubescent kiddos). Additionally, your boys and girls might also develop emotional – or embarrassingly physical – responses when rolling with each other. This can easily develop into an anxiety about being on the mat, and generally create an atmosphere in which they don’t want to train anymore… which is exactly what you don’t want.

Coaches have to be attune to these sort of things, and have a plan for managing them. Recognize who you can put together, and who you can’t. Be aware of when a parent or another student might be the source of negative pressure, and have something prepared to say to him/her. Stress – to both parents and your students – that the mat should always be a safe, supportive space, that jiu-jitsu is very equalizing sport, and that the kid’s class should always be a positive and empowering experience for all involved.

Bullying

Ugh. Bullying. It’s like that racist uncle at the family get-together; you always hope he’s not going to be there, but he always is.

As long as there are adults being awful to each other, there will be kids doing the same. You’re never going to fully prevent bullying from happening in your kid's class, but you can manage it. Here are some ideas for how to accomplish that: 

• Be Explicit - Set out expectations from the get go. Let your students know that bullying is not cool, and anyone caught bullying will be penalized. Your call on what that penalty is, but a good ol’ trusty one is not letting them participate in the fun stuff (games, rolling, etc.).
• Repeat, Repeat, Repeat – Incorporate that mentality into your regular schedule somehow. For one, you want your students to internalize it, and repetition is a great way to do that. And two, you’re always going to get an influx of new students who haven’t heard the spiel yet, so repetition allows for you to keep everyone on the same page.
• Be Consistent – Be consistent with your punishment. Kids need to know that “if A, then B”, no matter what. Don’t be any more or less harsh on any one kid, no matter if it’s your favorite or your least favorite (… because we all have those).
• Then Let it Go – Once the child has served his/her time, allow for forgiveness. They need to have an incentive to be better. If they are continually or excessively punished for one grievance, they’ll see no reason to change their behavior.

Parents

Ha! You didn’t think I’d have a blog about troubleshooting a kid’s class without a discussion about the number one problem, did you?

As I alluded to earlier, parents can be an issue for a kid’s class. Not all parents, of course, but there are always those few that can really disrupt the flow of your class and the values you’re trying to impart upon those young minds. If a parent also trains jiu-jitsu, they are typically less of a problem. They know how hard it is to learn jiu-jitsu, and they have some understanding of the customs, rules and values that exist on the mat. It’s the parents who don’t train that tend to cause the most grief. Here’s how to deal with them:

• Have Rules for Parents – The number one rule: No sideline coaching. Post it on the wall somewhere. Make sure every parent knows when they sign their child up. Put it in their contract or waiver. Explain to them why. Maybe don’t explain that it drives you absolutely bonkers, but do explain that it’s important that the kid should be looking for and listening to their coach, first and foremost.
• Manage Expectations – You’ll get those parents who want their child to be a world champion. That’s fine, except those parents usually push their child so hard in that direction that it quickly burns them out and they lose their love for the art. Do not promise them anything. Stress that your job is to teach them to the best of their ability, guide their development as young athletes, and to ensure that they enjoy the journey.
• De-escalate – Yeah, as a kid’s coach, you will be learning a ton of useful grown up skills… like how to de-escalate a situation. You will have to deal with a parent that is angry or upset, either because their child is getting smashed or they have very strong opinions about your instruction. The last thing you should do is get mad or upset in return. Instead, acknowledge their concern and explain to them, as calmly as possible, the reasoning behind your methods, and why allowing them to work through challenging rolls will help the child become more technical and resilient.
• Then Let Them Go – A really problematic parent is simply not worth your time and energy. Yes, you feel for the kid, but one repeatedly bad parent can really affect the culture and the energy of your entire kids class. Allow them to move on to another academy that may fit their vibe a little better.

Jiu-jitsu is such a tremendous vehicle for empowerment, self-worth, and self-discovery, for all people but especially for those little humans we call children. If we want them to get the most out of it, it’s up to us to lay the foundation for them to do so. Hopefully this series has given you some tips into doing just that.